Antlers and the Wolfman

The next project is going to be an Antlers scarf, which can only be found in the pattern book Son of Stitch n Bitch, which I checked out from the library for an entirely different pattern, but ended up falling in love with the scarf. I knew I wanted to tackle the antler cables, and since my next project is going to be Staghorn Fingerless Mitts, it seemed appropriate.

The process has been nearly painless so far – aside from my own errors, which I’ve been able to frog and fix before they got out of hand. Not really loving the cables on either end, and probably wouldn’t have knitted the first four rows, as it has made the bottom of the scarf bow out in a weird shape.

Notice the curling at the ends

The cables do make the scarf seem a bit froofy. And I feel like it’s not nearly wide enough – the cables certainly make it seem smaller. So, while I like the effect of the antlers, there are already things I would go back and change.

The Wolfman

Rawr.

This was easily one of the worst movies I’ve seen in awhile. Yeah, I’m starting out like that. Honestly, it should be ridiculously easy to make a decent movie about werewolves right now. With their popularity on the rise because of their close relationship with vampires – it’s the second best thing to actually making a movie about vampires.  Unfortunately, this film is laden with so much suck, it hardly appeals to anyone in any demographic.

Visually – it’s as frenetic as a music video on speed. The repeated sequences of the moon slipping between clouds and rising/falling in fast-forward become monotonous and dull after the first five times they are shown. The shadows and fog are never creepy, as they should be in a monster movie, but rather fill up the space on the screen in a languid way which serves no function. The editing is hackneyed at best, with some of the transitions between scenes being worthy of guffaws.

The acting is equally uninspired. Anthony Hopkins fared much better in Dracula than he does here. He is simply phoning it in, hacking his way through the laughable dialogue with a machete, with no apparent grace or interest in what he’s saying. Benicio Del Toro is the most wince-worthy of all the actors in this film. Perhaps it was his crappy,  stilted accent – or perhaps it was a shocking lack of any soul in his role to grab onto. Whatever the case, he signed the contract and agreed to the crappy part, so he can take the punishment he deserves.

And The Wolfman costume? At one point my friend leaned over and whispered, “I can’t stop thinking about Teen Wolf.” Neither could I, after that. We’ve come so far in technological advances – CGI, non-shitty makeup. It’s really disappointing when bad make-up ruins the “mood” for you. Not as if this flick ever really has a “mood” outside of being unintentionally funny.

The other actors – Emily Blunt and Hugo Weaving are absolutely wasted in their roles. I didn’t even realize Blunt had a name until the very end when she pleads with Wolfman for her life, “it’s me, Gwen.” Oh yeah, old what’s-her-face. Weaving, is another forgettable name, he’s some kind of detective perhaps – but that’s never made quite clear.

Honestly – it might have literally been years since I’ve seen a movie this bad. With such obvious lack of caring on the parts of the actors, director and editors. It was so terrible, I regret giving it even this much mental attention.

Do yourself a favor, and rent An American Werewolf in London instead. It looks like there’s a remake of American Werewolf scheduled to be released in 2011. Let’s hope they don’t screw it up.

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About tinyheroes

Mindy Crouchley is a 33 year old woman with a degree in English and Technical Writing from Portland State University. She has accumulated three+ years experience in the Marketing and Communications field - with an emphasis on creating digital media content. She has been reading comic books since she was 10 years old. She currently lives in outer southeast Portland with her spouse Dan Robertson, her baby girl, and their dog - Jabba the pug. She spends her free time devouring books, crafting cosplay, video gaming, attending comic cons, writing stories/screenplays, attending book to film adaptation club meetings, volunteering, and watching copious amounts of TV and movies.

5 responses to “Antlers and the Wolfman”

  1. Troy says :

    ” Oh yeah, old what’s-her-face”

    HA HA HA! Best line ever. Yeah, I could smell the stink on this one. I (aparently wisley) decided to wait and watch that one on DVD.

    • tinyheroes says :

      Heheh – thanks! Yeah, kinda wish we would have avoided this as well. I should have known it was rotten from the trailers…but I was rooting for it anyway. I love Benicio del Toro and Hugo Weaving. Damn this movie to hell!

      Although it did have a great line: “I will kill ALL of you!” which Dan and I still chuckle about to this day.

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