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X-Men First Class: The Trailers

In lieu of a super awesome X-Men: First Class review, please humbly accept a short amusing breakdown of the trailers attached to the film instead. Full review by Wednesday!

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THE GIRL WITH THE DRAGON TATTOO

I’ve read the book and seen the Swedish version of the flick, so of course I’m drooling over the trailer, Daniel Craig, the soundtrack of the trailer. Pretty much everything. Dan hasn’t heard anything about the Millenium Trilogy of books and plans on watching it. He has no fucking idea what the movie is even about, but that trailer completely sold him.

Led Zeppelin Immigrant Song? You are bad-ass.

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MR. POPPER’S PENGUINS

Yet another film logged in the “work-a-holic Dad needs to pay attention to their kid” file. Egh. Even the lovable if slightly bonkers and freakishly thin Jim Carrey can’t salvage this crap heap. Apparently the children’s book is delightful but everything about this film screams “soul-less.” At least it’s not a major Hollywood studio shitting all over the childhood cartoons or Television series I loved. Thanks?

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GREEN LANTERN

I have deeply rooted concerns for the watchability of this movie. There is so little promise every time my eyes rake across this trailer. It’s been attached to nearly every movie I’ve watched in theatres in the last month, and each time I shudder in horror at that fucking green mask and CGI suit.

DC fans, is this right? I am not well-versed in the mythology of this character, but it hollers out as a pure travesty of the worst kind. Visually, for the most part. Which is where most superhero movies excel. I’m afraid even Ryan Reynolds will not be able to sell this flick. Mark Strong, the dude who plays Sinestro is fucking HAWT though. Mmm. I’d have his crazy CGI suited alien babies in an instant. If I weren’t married, of course. 🙂

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TRANSFORMERS: DARK OF THE MOON


Another trailer I’ve seen about 10 times which never fails to pique my interest with the opening sequence on the moon, and then I remember that it’s a Transformers movie. The sad and solemn voice of Optimus Prime brings levity to the proceedings along with epic music.

But then there is: robot cars. Explosions and falling buildings. Shia Lebouf with a beefy body and pudge face. Some cracked out looking Megan Fox replacement. Another model turned actress. Yikes.

WHY are John Malkovich, Leonard Nimoy, Frances McDormand and Alan Tudyk in this movie?

What is happening!?

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REAL STEEL

This latest edition of the trailer includes a whole bevy of dramatic back-story involving a young boy’s relationship with his absentee father and the chance for a broken boxer to find redemption. America loves  a come-back-kid plot with fighting. And America also loves robots. Just about everyone loves Hugh Jackman. This movie will make tons of money, even if it looks like total crap.

I know you must have seen this trailer before, but my mom hasn’t. She leaned over in the darkened theatre and whispered: “It looks like Rock ’em Sock ’em Robots.” Nuff said.

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The only reason I bothered to even consider the trailers attached to this flick is because I happily sat through two viewings of X-Men: First Class last weekend to soothe my nerdy angst and too-high-expectations and bring some small measure of objectivity to Wednesday’s review. I also took the time to watch X-Men 1 and 2.

You’re welcome. 🙂

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About tinyheroes

Mindy Crouchley is a 33 year old woman with a degree in English and Technical Writing from Portland State University. She has accumulated three+ years experience in the Marketing and Communications field - with an emphasis on creating digital media content. She has been reading comic books since she was 10 years old. She currently lives in outer southeast Portland with her spouse Dan Robertson, her baby girl, and their dog - Jabba the pug. She spends her free time devouring books, crafting cosplay, video gaming, attending comic cons, writing stories/screenplays, attending book to film adaptation club meetings, volunteering, and watching copious amounts of TV and movies.

3 responses to “X-Men First Class: The Trailers”

  1. erninlow says :

    Girl With Dragon Tattoo looks awesome, Penguins and Transformers = crap, your mom had it right with the Rock em Sock em comment (although I like that Evangeline Lily is in the movie and Hugh Jackman is always sexy), jury is still out on watching Green Lantern.

  2. Addie says :

    I thought I read “Matt Strong” in your Green Lantern sentiments and had a chuckle.

    What kills me about Real Steel is from all I could tell about it, it would have been just as easy to have a girl kid. And then the movie would have been +1000 in appeal. I am easily pleased.

    I also like how you were grumbling with the rest of us on Friday night, then went back to watch FIrst Class again. I would have been giggling to myself during that entire montage scene on the second round.

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